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Festivus

An Unnadorned Aluminium Pole & Feats Of Strength For Festivus

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published: 14 December 2015

duration: 41' 53"

Presented by: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter & Zog with Tycho Jones & Violet Berlin

#266 The 2015 On Speed Christmas Special. Traditions, gifts, games, songs and fun. We give each other virtual presents, play the Dave Stebbings Christmas Car Quiz and Sniff Petrol gate-crashes the F1 Christmas Party. Plus Rob Dylan sings "This Christmas".

Rob Dylan

Rob Dylan - This Christmas

December comes around
Snow falls to the ground
And people all ask the same question
Bob, where will you be,
On Christmas and its eve?
Well I’ll be spending it with friends near Preston

Such a simple drive
M3, M25
Then M40
And M42
But just near Marston Green
Around the turn for the NEC
It all stops
And I wish I’d gone for a poo

Ask me where I’m gonna be
When Yuletide comes to town
I’ll be gridlocked
Somewhere near Stafford
There’s nowhere I can go
Ate my two-for-one Haribo
I’m stuck on the M6
This Christmas
Near Hilton Park, wish I’d bought crisps
This Christmas

That’s where I’ll be
That’s where I’ll be
That’s where I’ll be this Christmas.
That’s where I’ll be, 
That’s where I’ll be,
I’ll be stuck on the M6 this Christmas.

There’s no turning back
In my ‘62 Cadillac
This ride’s got all that I want
It’s got the pace of a plane
And the pull of a train
And the boot space of a Vauxhall Belmont

Why was I bold?
I ignored the toll road.
And the B-roads
Way out in the sticks
Never leaving first gear
In the next lane is Chris Rea
He’s been stuck here
Since Christmas ’86.

Ask me where I’m gonna be
When Yuletide comes to town
I’ll be crawling
Past Newton-le-Willows
There’s nowhere I can go
I ate my two-for-one Haribo
And I really need a piss
This Christmas
I’ll be stuck on the M6
This Christmas.

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Instruments, vocals and production: Gareth Jones  
Lyrics: Richard Porter & Gareth Jones

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Merry Christmas from all of us on the podcast.

Gareth Jones on Speed will return in 2016 with Season 12

© Gareth Jones 2005-2015