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CofRichard, Gareth Zog - Coffee

Only Coffee Can Keep Us Awake Watching Barcelona

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published: 13 May 2015

duration: 34' 50"

Presented by: Gareth Jones, Richard Porter & Zog

#248 The Spanish GP. Overtaking, McLaren’s brake failure and new paint, an ill wind at Lotus. Sniff Petrol on counselling for Jenson and Alonso and Christian Horner’s hire car. All about fuel flow. Plus new On Speed Music “Kanye East” performs Woah Lewis.

Kanye East

“Kanye East” - Woah Lewis

Yo, Lewis my man
I’m an MC and a fan
I love the way you drive your hot rod
But I’m worried right now how you say you’ve found God.
 
Like a big-buck rapper you like to praise The Lord
But to me it’s a sign that you could be getting bored
Of racing one of Ross Brawn’s karts
And he’s the nearest thing to a God we’ve got ‘round these parts.

Woah Lewis
I don’t wanna say this
But slow down brother
You’re staring at an abyss
Woah Lewis
We love it when you’re racing
But this God thing’s just embarrassing

We all know that you’re quicker than Nico
He has to admit it he’s not quite your equal
But only by a smidgen, and I’m not bitchin’
He respects your right to have a religion

Just like Jesus loves the little children
Woah Lewis now I’m doin’ it and its all wrong
I’ve got a faith and its carbon fibre strong
I believe in the church of F1.

Woah Lewis
I don’t wanna say this
Slow down brother
You’re staring at an abyss
Woah Lewis
We love it when you’re racing
But this God thing’s just embarrassing.

When you were a lad, it was mad
The McLaren was the best car any driver had
With the possible exception of the FW15
But there again you never drove for that team.

I see you’ve been working out,
And you must be famished
You were hungry in Hungary, then you vanished
With that chinstrap beard, man you look outlandish
I think I’ve worked it out, have you turned Amish?

Woah Lewis
I don’t wanna say this
Slow down brother
You’re staring at the abyss
Woah Lewis
We love it when you’re racing
But this God thing’s just embarrassing.

This is a game of science not a Game of Thrones
The king you need is downforce
Overtaking zones
Theological doctrine is no replacement
For wind-tunnel data and engine displacement.

Don’t let belief
Define your defiance
Don’t rely on prayer
Depend on science.

Word.

And that’s the other thing
That constantly bothers me
If you’re from the Home Counties
Why do you speak like a homie?
You’re not sourdough you’re more bruschetta and prosocetto
But you speak like you grew up in the ghetto?

I’m getting worried you’re the new Michael Jackson
But a lot more butch with an American accent
So Lewis, here’s my pitch
Stay true to your roots you come from Stevenage.

Woah Lewis
You’re still the truest
Pure speed brother
We want you to remember this
We love ya Lewis 
We love it when you’re racing
We’ll take you as you are.
We’re just teasing.

-

Written, performed and produced by Gareth Jones

Piano - Steve Allan Jones

© Gareth Jones 2005-2015