#46 Listening to GJOS in the car, being overtaken
by an F1 driver on the road. Would you buy an Apple i-Car? Car
slang what car has the most ridiculous nick-name: Bimmer, Fezzer?
we reveal something even worse. Sniff Petrol presents the left-wing
cabbie, and Gareth sings - “Minicab Driver”.
Gareth Jones On Speed vs Sniff Petrol
- Minicab Driver
I couldn't be much further from the French Riviera
Than sitting in the back of this Nissan Primera,
I should be sipping cocktails on the Adriatic Sea
Instead I'm breathing in his lemon scented Magic Tree
Oh Minicab drivers aren't the best,
But I doubt if this bloke could even pass the driving test
For 15 minutes we’ve been stuck in this estate
Now he stops for petrol, and now I’m going to be late
He needs help navigating so I lend a hand
But he's speaking in a language I don't understand
He doesn't get it, I don't want Westminster Abbey
It’s like I’m speaking Urdu, but he’s hearing
Punjabi
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a mini cab
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a mini cab
His springs have sprung, his dampers are damp
The seat smells worse than the stench of a tramp
But really this trip could have been really bad
If I’d paid 60 quid to travel 10 miles in a London Black
Cab
I think I'd rather travel in an Austin Maxi
Than this puke-stained smoky dodgy amateur’s taxi.
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a mini cab
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a mini cab
I really wish I wasn’t sitting in the
back seat
Of this puke-stained smoky dodgy amateur’s taxi.
He’s been driving around for a hundred
hours this week
He doesn’t look alert, he could do with some sleep
He supplements his income with stuff he’s offering me
No mate I don’t want to buy a mobile phone, or a DVD
The music on his radio is week and pathetic
So we talk about politics and the terrible traffic
He’s polite on the road, not rude or unforgiving
I guess he’s just like me, just trying to earn a living
CHORUS
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend
your time in a mini cab
Other modes of transport start to look real fab
When you spend your time in a mini cab
This is the worst journey that I’ve ever
had see
Sitting in the backseat of this illegal Taxi
I think I’d rather suck and lick and suck an ear that
is waxy
Than travel this puke-stained smoky dodgy amateur’s taxi.
I think I’d rather have a jack boot up
me Jacksi
Than get caught in this freeze-frame from Koyaanisqatsi
Please don’t make me travel in a dodgy
Taxi
Please don’t make me travel in a dodgy Taxi
---------------
Gareth Jones - Words, Voices Stylophone, and
Mix.
Richard Porter - Instrument programming
Radio communications kindly supplied with a
smile by Sam's Cars London, N16 www.samcsars.co.uk
who are quite the opposite of a dodgy taxi firm.
